Welcome to Duck Syndrome!
Come on in, the pond water’s warm.
The term “duck syndrome” was initially coined at Stanford University to refer to students struggling while feeling like they have to present as calm, cool, and collected—much like a duck gliding on water while their feet are paddling wildly under the surface. In school or not, I find that image so evocative for a sensation that many of us with anxious and/or perfectionistic brains experience. Not quite imposter syndrome (though that shows up too), just the feeling that everyone else seems to have things figured out, and in order to adhere to social norms we’d better all act like we do too. To add insult to injury, it’s scary to be vulnerable and admit this feeling, so most of the time we all just go around experiencing these similar emotions alone.
Why subscribe?
Well, because I know that I’m not the only one that feels like a duck a lot of the time. And I think most challenging things feel a little easier to handle when we’re not all trying to do it in isolation. So if you also feel like a duck sometimes, why be lone ducks when we could be a flock? Or a raft, a brood, a paddling, a daggle, a twack... apparently there are lot of names for groups of ducks :)
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Hey! I’m Carrie (she/her)
I live on the east side of Los Angeles with my husband, our preschooler, and our big fluffy orange cat. As a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (#163870) for folks all over California, most of my work centers on helping clients with issues related to perfectionism and body struggles. I love to come along for the ride as people get clearer on who they are, what they need, and how to move through life with more ease, self-trust, and permission to be unapologetically imperfect.
Want to know more? Please check out my website!
What to expect
Reflections on mental health issues like perfectionism, anxiety, overwhelm, burnout, and self-compassion
Thoughts about all of the systems (capitalism, diet culture, white cishet patriarchy, etc.) conspiring to make and keep us unhappy... and how to exist in them when their values don’t align with ours
Generalized anecdotes from my work as a therapist (amalgamations, never direct quotes or specific experiences)
Ideas about how high expectations of ourselves impact our relationships with our bodies and with food (bringing in my background in treating eating disorders and other types of body-related shame)
Personal stories about my own experience of being a duck
My hope is that this will feel like a soft place to land whenever you feel alone in your struggles.
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Birds of a feather
Let’s be in community, ducks! Please feel free to send me a message or to comment on a post when you’re feeling moved to do so. I would love if you said hey however feels good for you!
Duck Syndrome’s art is designed by Tess Solot-Kehl. Headshot photos are by Lee Jameson.
You probably know this, but I gotta say it anyway
Duck Syndrome is not meant to replace individualized mental healthcare. The intention is to educate and entertain, not to treat or manage personal concerns. Engaging with Duck Syndrome does not constitute a therapeutic relationship, and I am unable to provide therapy services via this platform. I am also not able to ensure privacy of personal information shared in direct messages or comments, so please refrain from sending details you would wish to keep confidential in those manners.
If you would like to reach out to me to inquire about working with me in an official therapeutic capacity (and you live in California), you can get in touch here.
As a rule, I do not follow or engage with past or current clients on any form of social media. You may of course subscribe if you like reading my posts, but I will not respond to comments or direct messages here to protect your confidentiality.
If you are in need of immediate support
Please consult this list of crisis warm lines or this list of community-based alternatives to police in your city for emergency help.
